Conscious Co-Creation: Step 7 (Part 1)

Today’s inspiration comes from Part 1 of Chapter 11 of my e-book, Afraid Of Our Own Shadow: A Manifesto and Guide to Conscious Co-Creation. Enjoy!

Manifest Mondays

Chapter 11: Conscious Co-Creation: Step 7 (Part 1)

In this chapter, I’ll be sharing the seventh and final step to Becoming a Conscious Co- Creator. Instead of giving you an activity, I’ll be sharing four power actions that are essential to conscious co-creation.

Step #7

Choose What You Want to Co-Create and Be Habitually Happy Until it Happens

Before I get started on Step #7, we’ll do another quick review of the steps we’ve already covered:

Step 1: Know Who and What GOD Is
Step 2: Know Your Intrinsic Worth as an Aspect of Divinity

Step 3: Align Your Person, Your Power, and Your Purpose With the Creator of All That Is
Step 4: Allow Old Charge to Come Up Without Resistance
Step 5: Stay Present With Presence-Releasing the Need for Approval and the Need to Impress
Step 6: Use Genuine Remorse to Take You to Zero Point So You Can Powerfully Declare What You No Longer Want

All the steps leading up to this last step were essentially to prepare you for the simple task of consciously co-creating. Believe it or not, G.O.D and our Guides want to see us happy and fulfilled more than we want it ourselves. When we are in alignment with the first 6 steps and aware of the 4 major pitfalls, then co-creation has a much better chance of actualizing because we don’t get in the way of G.O.D and our Guides.

In Step 3, you created a new self-image by aligning your Person, your Power and your Purpose with the Creator of All There Is. Now it’s time to specifically declare the things you’d like to Have, Be and Do, while being habitually happy until it happens.

The two keys to conscious co-creation are to set goals that you can be happy or feel good about and to keep this emotion of happiness at all costs until it becomes a habit and eventually happens in your life. It doesn’t make sense to set a goal that doesn’t make you feel happy when you think about it. The golden rule here is to start small with goals you can genuinely feel happy about when you think or visualize them in your life.

Here’s another important point:

When you are determining what things you’d like to Have, Be or Do, make sure to do three things:

1. Form the goal as a question
2. Be sure to include how it will make you feel

3. Don’t focus on a specific time or avenue for it to manifest because the unseen realm has ways and means that the     conscious mind knows not of.

So here are a few examples:

“Why am I totally enjoying myself doing all the things I set out to accomplish this month?”

“Why am a feeling total trust and happiness, while meeting all my financial obligations with ease and grace?”

If you really want to get powerful, you can set the goal in the past tense as if it already happened like this:

“How did I have fun gracefully actualizing the funds to attend that retreat, and how did I manage to have a great time meeting such wonderful people and learning so many enlightening things?”

Now I must admit, it took me awhile to have the courage to start co-creating with confidence. My person had all those worries like, “Have I cleared enough old stuff to be successful?” Or, “When will I finally be done with clearing all this old stuff?” Also, there was the disappointment my person felt when things didn’t show up like it wanted. If this may be the case with your person also, then I am going to share four essential power actions that can assist you in boosting your co-creation power…

Four Things I’ve Learned in the Last Six Months

With approximately four months left in the 10-Month Manifest Your Desires Campaign, I’d like to share four things I’ve learned so far. These four lessons are important because I know my person would’ve never learned them if a commitment hadn’t been made. Declaring to the world that you’re going to do something and then having to be accountable for that something is one of the greatest lessons you can ever learn, especially when that “something” speaks to your heart and honors your being.

LESSON #1: Know & Focus on What Your MOST Passionate About First

The greatest take-away I’ve had so far from List-A-Palooza’s: 90 Day List-Building Challenge came from  Suzanne Monroe, founder of International Association of Wellness Professionals. She shared five steps that I’ll summarized here: 1) Be clear about what you are most passionate about 2) Know what you are good at  3) Match up your “unique brillance” with the right business model 4) Create a simple way people can learn from you 5) Share your message

These steps allowed me to see that by focusing on what I’m most passionate about (and already good at)  first, I’m more able to gain the momentum to accomplish my other less passionate goals. Yet as it stands to date, I’ve spent the past six months trying to master the things that my person is passionate about, but not that good at yet. This has left hardly anytime to focus on the creative writing aspect of my upcoming book.

LESSON #2: Self-Love Leads to Lessons Learned

My commitment to loving myself no matter what  has played a great role in learning a great lesson. When I found myself constantly procrastinating and finding excuses to not execute my continuously evolving plans, my person’s first reaction was to want to beat myself up for not being more disciplined. Yet, because I am committed to allowing myself the same kindness as I would a kindergartner learning to tie her shoes, I was able to go deeper. Something was off.  As blues singer BB King would say, “The Thrill is Gone” and I didn’t know why. Yet, because I trusted my body enough to know something was off, I didn’t need to know what was off  before  going back to the basics and asking for help.

LESSON #3: Guiding Principles Prevent a Predicament

When I began the 10-month Manifest Your Desires Campaign back in January, I made sure to establish two internal desires to serve as my foundation (guiding principles) as a pursued my two external goals of travel writing and book publishing. This has proven to be a wise move because it has allowed me to keep my focus on why I am doing what I’m doing, rather than on when or how it will all manifest. The formula for my first internal desire to “T.A.P into Happiness,” consists of T-rusting that G.O.D and my guides want my success more than I do, A-ccepting what manifests in my life, knowing all things (good and bad) are ultimately serving a perfect purpose, and being P-resent in my body with presence and gratitude at all times.

LESSON #4: A Daily Practice is Perfect for My Person

“After all is said and done, more is said than done.” -Aesop

I can not stress enough how important a consistent practice is in outsmarting the mental mind chatter and thought suggesting parasites that lie within. Aside from being present in my body and aware of my thoughts and actions without judgement, I have found mindful eating, physical exercise, being barefoot in nature and the Emotion Code to be the best techniques for me to sidestep the traps that the monkey mind/ gatekeeper sets up for my person on a daily basis. Sometimes I’m more successful than others and my person is always amazed at how easily it is to slip back into old habits. Yet, the key for me has been to realize things happen in cycles and even when you slip into old habits, it’s still serving a good purpose-if you say it is and believe it!

Manifest Your Desires Campaign Update

cropped-Logo-Deborah1.jpg

Based on the four lessons I learned, for the next four months, I’ve shifted my focus from my travel writing goals (what I’m passionate, but not that good at) to put more emphasis on my book publishing goal (what I’m passionate and good at). I realize now that publishing my book probably isn’t possible by Nov. 14th; however, a good thing that has come out of this realization is that I can solicit more reader participation to provide a better product and then generate more publicity and funding via Pubslush, (a crowdfunding site for authors), before my book is actually published.

Focus on Book Publishing

Coming up shortly, I’ll be conducting a survey to get feedback on your biggest challenges around conscious co-creation and for my upcoming book Prayers of a Virgin: 52 Weeks of Poetic Inspiration and Personal Planetary Guidance with the Destiny Cards. I’ll need your feedback so I can be sure to create the most effective product. I’m also planning to give away one free spot for my upcoming Conscious Co-Creation Retreat @ The Sanctuary in Puerto Escondido, Mexico, Sept. 19th-26th, so I’ll  keep you posted!

More Travel Guest Post and Pinterest Picture Posts

Instead of my person being stressed out about keeping up with unrealistic travel writing schedule, I plan to post more travel guest posts and a series of pinterest travel picture/personal quotes posts. Because I plan to focus more time at what I’m good at, this will allow for more creativity and flow, leading to more productivity in less time. If you are a travel writer or know of any good travel writers or posts, let me know!

Knowing “Why” You Want Something

Manifest Mondays

Today’s inspiration comes from Day 229 of Manifest Your Desires: 365 Ways to Make Your Dreams A Reality by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Enjoy!

Why you want something defines the essence of the what you want, and the Universe always delivers to you the vibrational essence of your desire….So, when you think about why you want something, you usually soften resistance; but when you think about when it will come to you or how it will come or who will help it to come, you often add resistance, especially if you do not already know the answers to those questions.”

Conscious Co-Creation: Step 6 (Part 2)

Today’s inspiration comes from Chapter 10 of my e-book, Afraid Of Our Own Shadow: A Manifesto and Guide to Conscious Co-Creation. Enjoy!

Manifest Mondays

Chapter 10: Conscious Co-Creation: Step 6 (Part 2)

ACTIVITY FOR STEP 6

Task #1

Create a scared space and take your time to write down all the ways that your person is not fully living and expressing the Divinity within you. Remember, we are talking about your “person” not your essential nature, which is perfect in and of itself, so using these terminologies help to keep things in perspective.

Task #2

Now imagine, or better yet, play out as if you were watching a movie, how these actions are affecting not only you, but the people in your life and the people that you were meant to assist, now and in the future. Make this movie as detailed, dramatic, and creative as your spirit allows you to. You can do it in sections (i.e, Act 1-My Person, Act 2- My Family, Act 3-My Sphere of Influence, etc). Or you can do the ghost of present, past and future, like in the Christmas Carol. It’s not important how you do it, but only that you put your total per-sona into it. How does this movie make your person feel? Does it bring up strong emotions? Allow any emotions of deep anger, sorrow, guilt or remorse to come up without resistance.

Task #3

Make a decision coming from your mind, heart, and will that you DEFINITELY don’t want anymore of what your person has just witnessed and felt. Write down and declare to the Universe what is absolutely unacceptable for your person from this day forward. (Remember, this is a game, so don’t worry if you don’t feel it strong. Just fake it until you make it, and KNOW your essential nature is always Divine).

Task #4

Now, write a letter to your inner family and make amends. Your inner child, your inner warrior, your inner nurturer, and your inner sage. Apologize for all the ways you’ve neglected, rejected, or overcompensated for these aspects of your being. Make the decision and choice to improve these relationships and then LISTEN and write down what they have to say in response to your new decision. You may be surprised by what they have to share as well. Until you choose to become best friends with your inner family, it becomes harder to make these changes. You need to let them know that you have their best interest in heart and mind and THEY have to let you know that they are on board with your new decision 100 percent. This is key.

Task #5

Imagine a life fully expressed as an aspect of Divinity. How would it feel? How would you spend your time? Who would you be loving and allowing to love you? Who would you be supporting and allowing to support you? What can you imagine is possible living the next greatest and latest version of who you declare yourself to be as a beautiful expression of Divinity? Take time to feel and experience these things as an extension to the new self-imagine that you’ve already seeded in Step #3. This activity helps to water, nourish and prune away blockages that would prevent the successful actualization of your next greatest and latest version of who you declare yourself to be as a beautiful expression of Divinity.

So, that was Step #6. Next, we’ll be covering the final step-(Yeah!) Step #7

Conscious Co-Creation: Step 6 (Part 1)

Today’s inspiration comes from Chapter 10 of my e-book, Afraid Of Our Own Shadow: A Manifesto and Guide to Conscious Co-Creation. Enjoy!

Manifest Mondays

Chapter 10: Conscious Co-Creation: Step 6

In this chapter, I’ll be sharing the sixth step to Becoming a Conscious Co-Creator and I’ll also have an action step for you at the end.

Step #6:

Use Genuine Remorse to Take You to Zero Point So You Can Powerfully Declare What You No Longer Want.

Before I get started on Step 6, we’ll do another quick review of the steps we’ve already covered:

Step 1: Know Who and What GOD Is

Step 2: Know Your Intrinsic Worth as an Aspect of Divinity

Step 3: Align Your Person, Your Power, and Your Purpose With the Creator of All That Is

Step 4: Allow Old Charge to Come Up Without Resistance

Step 5: Stay Present With Presence-Releasing the Need for Approval and the Need to Impress

As we release old charge, stay present with presence, and heal and open our hearts, we begin to touch into the true motivations for our actions and almost always, feelings of genuine remorse tend to come up. It is at this point, we begin to truly desire something better for this beautiful life we were given to express the glory of G.O.D. As we come to acknowledge that we were incarnated here to experience and express the divinity within us with grace and joy, knowing that our persons have fallen short of our promise, can bring about powerful emotions that can be used to take us to zero point.

So what is zero point and why do I say can be used to take us there? First of all, zero point is the lowest point of existence on a mental, emotional, or physical level that our persons can experience before we push the reset button. In a nutshell, it’s the death and rebirth process of transformation that’s necessary to change our lives. Now, I just want to point out here that our essential nature is guiltless and perfect as it is, and that’s why I say we are only using these emotions and thoughts as a catalyst to propel us to action. Here is where thoughts and emotions can serve a good purpose if we allow them to.

If we allow ourselves to ride these feelings like a wave (or even see it as a movie), we can use the momentum to firmly declare what we no longer want or view as acceptable in our lives. This process is similar to what the Scrooge goes through in the novella A Christmas Carol, when he gets to look into the future and see just how miserable his life will be if he continues on the same path.

In the Ausarian Drama, based on Eygptian or Kemitic mythology, I have always identified with the Shero’s journey that Auset (Isis) goes through to redeem the fallen King Ausar (Osirus) via the birth of their son. This story is the bases for the movie The Lion King that most people are more familiar with. The theme of this touching story essentially is that Auset desired and cared more about awaken the divinity within her, represented by Ausar, than she feared the oppressive system she was under or the unknown journey she was about to take. She desired to see in her life, this awaken divinity, seated on the throne of power more than she did her attachment to material possession, sensual desires or emotional drama.

In order to reach zero point in our lives, we all must have this kind of commitment to kill that which is no longer working and give birth to what is desired based on devotion and courage. Not only is it needed, but absolutely essential to bring into manifestation the next greatest and latest version of who we declare ourselves to Be. You’ve GOT to want it more than fear AND for the right reason. The right reason is that it’s your birthright and what you came here to express as a beautiful aspect of Divinity.

Okay, so with that said, here is your activity for this chapter…

Chioma in the Congo, Bringing Back Our Wealth

I would like to introduce you to my friend Chioma Oruh, a PhD candidate in the Department of Political Science at Howard University. She is working on a dissertation on the rape crisis in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. I first met Chioma aka “Dr. Chi Bornfree” in 2006 in Palenque, Mexico at a Beyond the Global Divide (BGD) conference that brought together youth and Indigenous Elders/Wisdom Keepers from all over the world to exchange knowledge. What I remember most about her was her passion!

Beyond the Global Divide (BGD), an initiative of the Spirit of Truth Foundation, is a meeting comprised of youth and Indigenous Elders/Wisdom Keepers from all over the world to exchange knowledge. – See more at: http://www.13moonwalk4peace.com/vision/youth/#sthash.NuOwazje.dpuf

Beyond the Global Divide (BGD), an initiative of the Spirit of Truth Foundation, is a meeting comprised of youth and Indigenous Elders/Wisdom Keepers from all over the world to exchange knowledge. – See more at: http://www.13moonwalk4peace.com/vision/youth/#sthash.NuOwazje.dpuf
Beyond the Global Divide (BGD), an initiative of the Spirit of Truth Foundation, is a meeting comprised of youth and Indigenous Elders/Wisdom Keepers from all over the world to exchange knowledge. – See more at: http://www.13moonwalk4peace.com/vision/youth/#sthash.NuOwazje.dpuf

Chioma just completed a #BringBackOurWealth campaign and raised $1,050 of the $3,000 goal set for her trip to the Congo, July 1-14, 2014. She will meet with the community she’s researching in the Goma region of the Congo, as part of a delegation with the organization, Friends of the Congo. As a daughter of Africa, she didn’t want to go empty handed, so 90% of the donations raised will be split between two grassroots organizations: The Association of Widows and Youth For A New Society, both of these organizations are doing great work in varying capacities to address the issue of gender-based violence (1 in 4 women are reported to be raped approximately every 5 minutes) and political destabilization of war in the Congo (over 6 million people have died since 1998 due to continuous warfare).

Here’s What I’d LOVE for You To Do:

* Watch the videos and read her post below to learn about Chioma, the conditions in the Congo, and the wealth building project she is doing in partnership with local organizations to build economic sustainability on a grassroots level.

* Visit or follow her blog, Dr. Chi Bornfree for updates, pictures, interactive videos, and an analysis of her experience.

* Learn more about  Friends of the Congo.  You can be confident that all donations will be given to the right grassroots organizations that work directly WITH the impacted women rape survivors and their families.

 

Pollination Pages

Interview with Mama Marie Chimanuka

On Thursday June 26, 2014, I had the honor of visiting with Mama Chimanuka of the Association of Widows located in the eastern region of the Democratic Republic of Congo. Thanks to Maurice Carney, Executive Director of the Friends of the Congo, this connection and interview was made possible. As a result of this contact, I will be spending a few days with organization member of the Association of Widows when I arrive in early July 2014. Please listen to Mama Chimanuka’s testimony of the daily impact of the ongoing war in the region and the great strides her and her comrades have taken to not only survive but to help orphaned children and widows of their own community. Additionally, the Association of Widows continues in its effort and in collaboration with the Friends of the Congo are launching an economically sustainable project to sell African print shirts. More details on this project to come in the future and also more videos and testimonies from my visit and promotion of the #BringBackOurWealth campaign. There is less than 24 hours to donate to the campaign, please contribute today.

Words of Wisdom from the Wildflower Daisy

Tuesday Tribute

When I was young, my mother always used to recite some bible verse to get her point across. In fact, she was the most bible quoting women that I knew! Out of all my mother’s bible quotes, my favorite was Matthew 10:16, ” ….be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”

For some reason, this verse has left a lasting impression on how I navigate life. I have been on a quest for knowledge, wisdom and understanding all my life, but I’ve also understood (thanks to Daisy) that with these things comes the responsibility to live a life with integrity as a form of “universal protection.”

Diasy Drive Donors

* David King  * William Scott, Jr.  *Janice Donovan  * Isaac Causey *Sharonda Caldwell  * LaVerne Freemon  * Lumumba Corriette  * Cher Hermschulte  *Camara Barbara Knight

Remember, it’s never too late to spread the word on social media, to help out by shopping on

OR by making a donation or volunteering your professional services.

One Love,

DeBorah

PS. Go to the Pushing Daisy Drive Page to learn more about the fundraiser goals and the other ways you can contribute.

Your Vibrational Offering

Manifest Mondays

Today’s inspiration comes from Day 218 of  Manifest Your Desires: 365 Ways to Make Your Dreams A Reality by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Enjoy!

“Whenever you are looking for things to appreciate, you have control of your own vibrational offering and your own point of attraction; but when you are responding to the way others seem to feel about you, you have no control…You do not know what happened to them today, and you do not (know)  how they are living, so you cannot understand why they react to you in the way they do-and you cannot control it.  However, when you are more interested in how you feel than how they feel about you, you do have control of your experience.”

Pitfall #4 to Conscious Co-Creation (Part 3)

Today’s inspiration comes from Part 3 of Chapter 9 of my e-book, Afraid Of Our Own Shadow: A Manifesto and Guide to Conscious Co-Creation. Enjoy!

Manifest Mondays

Chapter 9: Pitfall #4 to Conscious Co-Creation (Part 3)

I witnessed one seemingly caring conscious brother, after realizing there would be no throne for him to sit upon in this line of work, become not only bitter, but an opportunist. I mean, even to the point of semi pimping women and hustling that corporate job because as he put it, “Hell, I got bills to pay and all them ignorant pork eating brothers and sisters ain’t worth the hassle.”

I witnessed another conscious sister become spiteful. After just making good love and a good meal for her man, she returned home having forgotten something for work, only to find him in bed with another women. She became so hateful that she didn’t even want to hear anything, much less see anybody talking that conscious stuff!

I witnessed for miles and miles, many conscious brothers and sisters, after the novelty wore off of being in rebellion to their parents, have their house of consciousness flatten by the storm, since, in the first place, they were not build with the psychological foundation that is necessary to change a world paradigm. Having become parents themselves, I watched them all go back to the same religion, philosophies and diets that they talked so negatively about when it was fashionable and drove their parents crazy.

So, that was the first storm, you can say a category 2 for me. The second cycle of change that came around to awaken me was more like a category 5 and I wasn’t hardly as prepared for that one.

It took me awhile to realize it, but I was mad and suffered great heartbreak from my elders. Not my parents or the elders that I thought didn’t know better, but the elders that went around in the community professing to be all knowing and therefore, I thought knew better. No one ever told me, and it would years later before I realized that elders hid behind their broken hearts too, and criticizing the youth for all the problems, was the way they cried, much like anger was the way men cried, of which I’d also find out.

Yet, at the time, it was virtually inconceivable to me that my elders with knowledge or in authority positions would actually sell out and deliberately thwart the youth’s progress for money, a personal agenda, and more accurately (for what I know now), their own broken hearts. I guess you can call my person naïve, but around that age of 21, I had no immunity to the fact that elders that I held in high esteem could say one thing and do another and I became bitter.

Now This is VERY Important:

BECAUSE, I wasn’t aware of my broke heart, this would pave the way for a lot of what I drew to me, in regards to elders constantly letting me down. My mind computer had accepted this reality as the gospel truth and as a result kept churning out more of this faulty reality in my experiences to validate it. The sad part was that because my heart was broke and my person DIDN’T KNOW IT, I was powerless to do anything about it. Powerless from having my 90 percent heart power pierce through this veil of illusion to create another reality.

Yet, like my auntie used to say, “What don’t kill you, makes you stronger.” During this 19 year cycle of inwardly searching and seeming societal scorn, G.O.D and my Higher Self, were gently guiding and getting me ready for what would become my greatest gifts.

This period helped me to gain perspective on why my so-called conscious elders said what they said and did what they did. It gave me the needed motivation to use my gifts to dig deeper, beyond what was commonly accepted knowledge, theory, and perspective, to create my own theory, The Bellony Theory, of which I’ll be sharing in my forthcoming book, It’s All G.O.D: A Conscious Creator’s Guide to Healing the Effects of White Supremecy.

So, with that said, let’s move into my great resource:

Proverbs Chapter 4 v23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” I heard this verse mentioned when I was listening to an interview with Dr. Alex Lloyd, founder of The Healing Codes. He quoted this verse to bring home how science is only now coming to realize how essentially true this ancient proverb is. Dr. Lloyd pointed out that healing lies neither in alternative nor allopathic medicine, and that essentially there is no long term healing without healing our cellular memories and especially the ones that we don’t even know we have!

The resource I want to share with you was founded by another good doctor, Dr. Bradley Nelson, founder of The Body Code. I mention Dr. Nelson here because he developed a fascinating system that uses the power of our bodies to tap into the collective subconscious to locate what he calls trapped emotions AND the power of magnets used along what’s called the governing channel in acupuncture to clear them. These two powerful, yet super simple techniques combined have been meeting with GREAT success. I share this resource because I know just how important it is for us to clear all these barriers and blockages that we don’t even consciously know we have around our hearts in order to step into the 90 percent heart space of potential and power. So that was Pitfall #4 (I told you it was a biggie!). Next, we’ll be covering Step #6.

Pitfall #4 to Conscious Co-Creation (Part 2)

Today’s inspiration comes from Part 2 of Chapter 9 of my e-book, Afraid Of Our Own Shadow: A Manifesto and Guide to Conscious Co-Creation. Enjoy!

Manifest Mondays

Chapter 9: Pitfall #4 to Conscious Co-Creation (Part 2)

Before I end, I want to share a powerful personal story, as well as a powerful resource. So, let’s begin with my story:

In 1986 in Orange County, California, I started a Black Heritage Club at my high school where there was less than 2 percent African-Americans. I was around 15years old and on fire because I had recently been gifted with the knowledge of my rich ancestral heritage and contribution to the Americas, as well as the world. And, I just want to say, you have to know this was a GREAT gift for my person’s self-esteem at that age, being that I grew up in a very racist community and school system where Black history began with slavery and then ended up with a brief mention of Martin Luther King, Jr. I received this gift from my brother who was attending Cal State Long Beach and was taking a class with Dr. Maulana Karenga, the founder of the African-American holiday, Kwanzaa. I was around 12 or 13 at this time, and I noticed that my brother was walking taller and always preaching to the family, about one thing or the other. Some of my family thought he was crazy, but I was curious. In my inductive childhood reasoning, I noticed that whatever was causing this change in him had to do with the books that he was always reading and carrying around, so I decided that I would read them for myself to find out what was going on.

Well, that opened my mind to a whole new world, and I was never the same again. Learning about my heritage changed my C minus average to a B plus and transformed my person from an insecure “nobody” to one of the most well known, actively involved students on campus. However, I was a little overzealous in my quest to “uplift my people.”

I used to go around campus with this heavy African-American almanac that I stole from the public library, quoting all the things that Black people had invented from the filament in the light bulb to the blood transfusion. I also used to hunt down all my classmates to make sure they’d come to our weekly club meetings. Looking back, yes, I wanted my classmates to feel the same sense of pride that wasn’t afforded us growing up Black in the OC, yet there was another, subtle underlined need that said, “If my classmates could experience the same pride I’m now feeling, in return they will love ME and be thankful to ME for providing this knowledge” Mistake #1! For as we already covered, the subconscious desire was based on my need of getting energy from another rather than Godsource via the act of self love of my inner family.

It was no wonder that the more I chased after my classmates, the more they ran away. Understanding this universal principle, they had to run, even if they didn’t know why! Something about my energy was needy, desperate. I was going on 17 when I had my first aha! moment about this. Now that I think back on it, this revelation must have come out of my true desire to understand why was it my efforts were being thwarted, when all I consciously wanted to do was good.

I’ll never forget the moment when the understanding hit me like a blow to the chest. I was on my way to the school cafeteria and a voice from within said, “If you are to do this work, if you are to share this message, it can’t be for anything else but the sheer love of it, not for the gratitude or appreciation of your classmates.” From that point on, my whole perspective changed and I could take my personal desires out of the mix a little more. I say “a little more,” because like I stated earlier, growth and actualization is an on-going process that happens… in cycles and cycles.

Yet, it was great because it gave me a little more understanding, so that by the time I went off to the historically Black University, North Carolina Central and founded a women’s service organization called Alkebu-lan Sisters, I was better prepared for what unfolded. I was able to watch with just a little more insight, empathy, and understanding, when other of my colleagues started learning knowledge of self. Depending on where their initial heartbreak happened, or depending on where their inner family wasn’t being nurtured, there would lie the psychosis, ready to rear its ugly head. For example, if it was a heartbreak based on ageism from their parents, then getting involved in this knowledge was fulfilling in that it was used to wage war against their parents in angry rebellion to all the restrictions and lies they were fed growing up.

If it was an inner family issue and the person had lack of self-worth, acknowledgment and appreciation issues, for men, it usually showed up as an overcompensation of the inner warrior, who used this information to be better, bigger and more knowledgeable than the next man. For women, it usually showed up as the self importance she felt from being so and so’s lady or the energy she received from being praised as the supportive, self sacrificing sistah.

Now let me say here, it’s not that anything my colleagues were doing was actually right or wrong. No action is inherently right or wrong in and of itself. Yet it is why we are doing what we are doing, our subconscious intentions that determines the results.

So, I sat back and watched all of these subtle subconscious motivations play out in others and myself as if I was doing a study. For those astrologers out there, I guess I don’t have Pluto in Virgo and a Scorpio Ascendant both at 29 degrees for nothing.

Anyway, what was my conclusion? Well, if I was to liken the cycles of change, the cosmic bill paying of the universe, to that of a hurricane, then what I witnessed after the storm were a few houses left standing. Although, my house survived that cycle of change because of the preparation I had in high school, there was another cyclical storm on the horizon that I’ll talk about in a minute that I was way less prepared for. Before, I do let me tell you about the devastation from this cycle…